Have you ever talked with someone about a concern or issue and felt dismissed? Let me give you an example. If a mother wanted to talk to me about her desire to return to school to get her college degree but expressed concern about her ability to meet the academic demands and be present with her family it wouldn’t help her if my response was “I did it and so can you” or “women do it all the time”. The result is likely a blow to her already fragile emotional state. What I may have thought was encouragement has now become discouraging because I did not listen closely to what her concerns were to provide a specific and helpful response. In that example I did not clarify if she was concerned about her children’s safety in day care, or her academic ability after struggling in high school, or the financial burden that paying for college can put on her family. There is a very thin line between fear and excuses but I have found that telling someone to “just do it” without considering their unique circumstances is counterproductive. Most people need help with creating and implementing strategies that kick their excuses to the curb. Now, once a person has the strategies and chooses not to implement strategies for new found reasons then I agree that they are making excuses.
If you have read my blog or followed me on social media for a while you know that I grew up in a very supportive home, school, and community. I was never discouraged from being me. Academically, I had the most amazing teachers on earth. I am still in contact with four of my most influential teachers – my Pre-Kindergarten and Kindergarten teachers, my 10th grade English teacher, and 11th grade Social Studies teacher. I am grateful for the encouragement and “gentle nudges” they gave me so many years ago.
One of my greatest gifts is the ability to see the potential for greatness in others. I believe that this gift was nurtured by the encouragement to be great that I have received throughout my entire life. I see greatness in you because someone saw greatness in me! I have been in a constant state of gratitude for many months and in looking back over my life I realized that I have done exactly I always said I would do. The road has been bumpy and full of detours but I am living what I declared. I have always loved to read and write. Since elementary school I have spoken the words “I’m going to write a book one day” aloud at different times in my life. Today I am an author of two books and have plans for three additional books. My 10th grade English teacher always told me I should pursue journalism. I chose Social Work however, I have been blogging regularly for many years (which includes numerous interviews) and my articles have been published in different publications. My 11th grade Social Students teacher (who earned the nickname “The Motivator”) encouraged me to think critically, speak up, and encourage others. During my senior year of high school I decided to pursue Social Work instead of Education although I know I was born to teach. I have a Bachelor’s degree in Sociology and have been teaching life skills for over a decade. After years of saying “I want to teach a Sociology college course” I have the honor of teaching a class of human service undergraduate students this fall. My life skills workshops, professional development trainings, and course objectives are all patterned after what I learned in Humanities as a high school junior.
Are you ready to step into your greatness?
Is the real you bursting out of the seams of your costume life?
Register today for my 45 minute “Note to Self” Strategy Session where you and I will explore the beliefs and habits that are holding you back and develop an exit route from your comfort zone.
Nicki Sanders, Chief Visionary Officer of Packaged For Success, helps both youth and adults discover their personal power, dream big, and achieve success on their own terms. Ms. Sanders is an experienced trainer, group facilitator, and program manager who holds a Master’s degree in Social Work. Ms. Sanders has over fifteen years of direct experience with diverse populations in residential, school-based, and community based agencies.
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